Goal Setting
It starts with what you want. Too often we accept the goals of others as our own. You should eat healthy. You should exercise. You should get up early, but if these are not things you actually want then you’re set up for failure before you begin.
Maybe you say “I don’t know what I want” and that’s fine! Most people don’t set goals. For the first 20 years of my life I didn’t set goals, then 5 years later my goals completely changed. Goal setting is not something you do one time, it’s a habit you do monthly, weekly, or even daily.
If you don’t know what you want, it’s because you haven’t spent enough time seriously studying yourself. Goal setting is hard work. It’s not fantasizing in your head, it’s clarifying with pen and paper.
I keep my goals pinned to the top of my notes app on my phone, and when I have an opportunity, I think about them. The more often you think about what you want, the better decisions you’re going to make and the more likely it will come true.
Before researching hacks and tricks to stay consistent, make sure the thing you’re trying to stay consistent with is something you actually want! With a strong enough ‘Why’ we can overcome almost any ‘How.’
When you have a clear goal, it acts like a North Star, so even when you lose focus, you know exactly how to get back on track.
The Journey of Failure
Failure is a part of the journey, how you respond is what matters. The journey to becoming the person you want to be is filled with failure. Anything worth having requires failure.
Once you’ve achieved something, the only thing that gives it value is the struggle you had to overcome. Failure is the fun part of the story when looking back, so remember this and enjoy the journey now as it’s happening.
Choose Your Beliefs
Even with a clear goal, some people will continue to self sabotage because their personal beliefs don’t align with their goal.
You can have two people with identical circumstances, and if one believes they’re going to fail, and the other believes they will succeed, it’s almost guaranteed. You will rise or fall to meet your personal expectations.
When I was a child I had a belief that the world didn’t care about me, so I chose to not care about the world. It wasn’t until around age 20 that I realized it wasn’t my circumstances, but my beliefs about my circumstances that determined my life.
On a less serious note, any time I’m playing a fun game, for example if I’m playing corn hole with my cousin Richie, and he says “Ah man I’m just off today,” I’ll say “Yes, you are off today.” Or if he says “Dang, you’re on point” I’ll say “Yes, I am on point.”
He who says he can and he who says he can’t are both usually right. Choose your words wisely.
Unfortunately, we inherit our identity and self-talk from those around us, and often these don’t serve us.
Did you know you can choose your identity? You can choose how you talk to yourself. Do you want to be a weak person or a strong person? Reinforce the identity you want to have.
People will say things about themselves that if they said to other people, they’d get punched in the face. Be your best friend, not your worst enemy.
Start to identify as the person you intend to be in the future and take the actions of that person. Each time you go to the gym, you strengthen your identity as a fit person. Each decision you make is a vote for the person you want to be.
Build Habits
Goal setting and your personal beliefs are more important than any strategy, but there is value in understanding human psychology and behavior, so here are some of the tips to help you stay consistent.
Trigger → Habit → Reward
Mini Habits
Use mini habits to build consistency. Choose the smallest action you can take daily related to your goal.
Say you want to improve exercise consistency. Something you can do is to get a calendar and mark each day you’re able to perform a single set of push-ups.
At first, this might seem pointless. What is a single push-up going to do? If you actually try this, what you’ll find is once you see your consistency you’ll begin to build your confidence in your identity as a fit person.
Improve Your Environment
Set up your environment for success. Make the things you want to do easier, and the things you don’t want more difficult. Keep healthy snacks at home and throw out unhealthy snacks. Delete apps that are food delivery or time waster apps so it’s harder to navigate to them.
Surround yourself with positive influences from people, podcasts, books, or videos.
Have a Plan ‘B’
If everything goes wrong, what will you do? If your plan is too perfect then when life happens you’re in trouble.
Have a workout you can complete in 15 minutes at home with no equipment. Have a list of healthy restaurants to order from when you need to get take out.
Find Accountability
Find someone else to be accountable to, tell them your plan, and check-in with them regularly.
If you don’t have someone, the next best thing is to keep a written record of your progress. This can be a calendar or a journal where you review your day and what you did or didn’t do and how it made you feel.
It’s easy for us to justify our lack of consistency to ourselves, but when we tell someone else or write it down, our excuses become obvious and embarrassing.
Conclusion
I am far from perfect when it comes to consistency, but I’m making progress. Oftentimes the advice we give to others is what we need ourselves most.